"Three simple precautions: First, do not be afraid to fail. To reach a goal is not the reason you do a spiritual discipline; it is to experience God. Even in failure, you are learning and experiencing new and valuable things" (Smith and Graybeal, 35).
That's a great point. Like many former "gifted students," I am a perfectionist who struggles with the fear of failure, even when no human will ever see or know. I fear failure even when I realize that God will not hold failure against me.
So much of our self-image and self-love is tied up in success or failure! We are ridiculously hard on ourselves.
In an Archaeos0up video on YouTube, our resident archeologist says that, in science, you can sort of guess the outcome, and that you have some degree of control over your results; but in archeology, you have no control. You can dig and find nothing. Finding anything, well-preserved or not, is great.
Consider what would happen in my life if, instead of expecting absolute perfection from myself, I would see any positive results as a good outcome. I'd be happier and more productive. If I didn't achieve all my goals for the day, I'd still feel successful if I accomplished something.
If I didn't have high expectations for others (especially my own family!), I could rejoice in their successes. I would be more encouraging, and less judgmental.
Thus I long for an archeologist's joy in finding anything in life, no matter how small or how broken it might be. And I long for the confidence to try everything without fear of failure.
So once again, "don't be afraid to fail. Even in failure, you are learning and experiencing valuable things."
Right on!
(Journal, Dec. 29, 2011)
Smith, James Bryan and Lynda Graybeal. A Spiritual Formation Wookbook: Small-Group Resources for Nurturing Christian Growth. New York: HarperCollins, 1993.
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