"Three simple precautions: First, do not be afraid to fail…. Second, keep your emphasis on God, not the method…. Third, feel free to modify any exercise to fit your needs…. Adapt the exercise you choose to challenge your strengths and support your weaknesses" (Smith and Graybeal, 35).Take a moment to really think about that last idea. "Challenge your strengths and support your weaknesses." We are, paradoxically, often both too easy and too hard on ourselves. We avoid real challenges, and castigate ourselves for every little failure, expecting too little and too much from ourselves. Who do we think we are? And who would I be if I stopped beating myself up, and started really growing?
The challenge, for me, is to change gradually and steadily. In the sci-fi series Firefly, Captain Mal says something like this to the beautiful but deceitful Saffon, "I imagine when the pain fades, you'll go back to being what you are." Sadly, that's what we usually do. We have what we think are life-changing experiences, then go right back to being what we are. We are, first and foremost, creatures of habit.
I want to re-establish habits of gratitude and prayer, and not slip back into habits of whining and spiritual laziness!
(Journal, Dec. 30, 2011)
Smith, James Bryan and Lynda Graybeal. A Spiritual Formation Wookbook: Small-Group Resources for Nurturing Christian Growth. New York: HarperCollins, 1993.
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